Skak!

Suatu hari di toko Indonesia di Hong Kong. Seorang wanita setengah baya, rambut dikuncir ekor kuda, berkulit sawo matang, berwajah tipikal wanita Jawa Timur/Tengah, berpakaian layaknya ibu-ibu seumurannya. Pake rok berlipit sederhana warna coklat muda dan kaos ukuran L warna putih dengan gambar pemandangan di dadanya.

Di rak bagian paling belakang toko itu, ia mencari-cari permen asem. Ditelusurinya rak paling atas hingga ke tengah. Dan, Aha! Ia menemukan. Sebungkus plastik permen asem warna coklat bertabur gula putih.

Tapi wajahnya seketika berkerut, "Om, kok permen asemnya cuma ini?". Berteriak ke pemilik toko yang dipanggilnya'Om'. Si Om yang diteriakinya tak menggubris.

Lalu ia kembali menelusuri, kotak-kotak permen asem di rak tengah. Ia mengambil sekotak kuning permen asem berlabel 'Tamarina'. Saat ia mengamati kotak kuning itu, aku lewat disamping wanita itu. Aku memang mau ke rak sebelahnya.

"Permen asemku udah gak ada sekarang. Adanya yang beginian," katanya. Kaget juga aku saat seketika ia membalikkan badannya ke arahku. Tak disangka tak dinyana, tak mengharapkan ada perbincangan muncul, kok dia langsung mengajak aku ngobrol. Terpaksalah aku berhenti tepat di samping kirinya, pasang muka ramah, dan siap mendengarkan. Sambil memegang-megang kotak kuning berlabel Tamarina, ia meneruskan kalimatnya.

"Tapi gak papa juga sih aku beli permen asem ini. Ini enak juga, kok. Beda sama yang lain."

"Ohya? Emang apa bedanya? Permen asem kan sama enaknya." tanyaku basa basi. Cuma ingin lebih sopan, tak ingin dianggap sombong sesama bangsa sendiri di negeri orang.

"Beda, dong. Yang ini kan dari te kok ,ma..." nadanya ma yang panjang datar, selalu dipakai orang Hong Kong (atau imigran yang sudah lama tinggal di Hong Kong dan terbiasa menggunakan logat setempat) untuk menyatakan penegasan atau penekanan kalimat. Ma ini ditambahkan pada akhir kalimat, seperti dalam bahasa Indonesia -kan-. Jika diterjemahkan dalam bahasa Indonesia, kurang lebih begini, "Lah kan dari te kok."

Berlanjut.

"Hah? Te kok? Apaan tuw te kok saya gak ngerti?" tanyaku dengan muka blo'on. Karena kata ini asing banget buatku. Istilah apa pula ini?

"Itu lho, negara Thailand...te kok...Thailand."

"Oh...thai guo..."

"Haiya...!"

Skak! Mampus!...Mate gw diterjang haiya...

(ternyata, te kok itu bahasa kantonisnya Thailand. Sementara yang biasa aku tahu adalah istilah Mandarinnya thai guo. Terdengar lebih mendayu-dayu , ma...hehe)

Life oh... life *sigh*

Pregnancy sometimes can be tricky like gambling, if I may say. I just wanted to explore something more than just a miracle of life. Are we lucky this time or are we not ? Are we putting enough bet to win the game? Are we bad player or good player? Or we’re just going to go all the way without considering to become a winner or loser. I don’t know which one I would choose. Coz I really don’t. Sometimes even if we don’t play right and the worst is, we don’t understand how to play the game, still we can win the game. Why? Coz we are lucky! Being lucky to be able to carry the living thing inside the womb all 9 months through. And being lucky to deliver the baby, alive! What if we are one of the unfortunate women? Who to blame?

Many doctors gave summary of the most possible causes of miscarriage. There are DNA problems, the health of woman’s reproductive organ, viruses such as HIV or HPV, TORCH, or even overweight can cause miscarriage. But obviously, all the possibilities are rejected by the fact that many women who have one of those causes are able to keep the baby until the day their babies are suppose to be born. And healthy as well.
Sometimes I just cannot understand how life starts and how it goes. Life and death are really mysterious. God’s time is really not ours. It’s not our business to know His time. No one will ever know when his/her time coming. And not a single mother knows when she becomes ‘the winner’. I admit, when I had miscarriage several times, I wish I could talk to God. If God was standing in front of me, I would have asked the very basic question, “Why God? Why?”

What annoy me is people who have negative thought. Some cynical people sometimes look at that problem as a curse. They make statement like, “Well, she deserves what she is experiencing now. Coz she did something wrong in the past.” They claim this woman to be a bad person. And in this case, a bad person is suppose to experience bad things too. Cynical people tend to find someone or something to blame for the things that don’t go right. That’s cynical, believing the worst of human nature and motives. Aside from the sins in the past, why don’t this cynical people think twice about what they are about to speak? Who are they to judge others?

We really do not understand God’s plan. Why can’t we just rely on God’s hand who gives us life? Why can’t we human just resign to His time? Just keep on believing, God will make everything beautiful in its time. And I do now.**